Happy birthday

I see him

Fallen on the ground

I carry him

Put him in the car

Check his blood pressure

But my hands are too shaky and I can't

Carrying him to the emergency room

My glasses fell down and broke

And I can't see him anymore

They told me he's dead now

And my whole body shivers

And I fall down to the floor

Can’t move my body for several seconds as I got myself a temporary paralysis

And through my memories a single drop from my eyes is on my cheeks against my will

Then the flow of memories is back again

Through all of the pain

I remembered what I should say which is "Thank you God for everything"

Then I stand up

On my feet

Telling myself

Not yet

Not now

Struggling to minimize the damage to my mother

I resist being paralyzed temporary or for the rest of my life

Hitting my arms and shoulders to the wall so I could feel them again

Calming down

You don't have time for tears

You will have to call your friends to aid you

Before your parents get to the hospital and find out

Hardly remembering their numbers

You call them

And so when you fall you will only be caught from true friends

And you will be loved and supported

Forever

Happy birthday my kindest brother

I miss you

30/6/2011