Many years have passed. More than I can count. People changed and lives made us forget everything. You go to work and you get busy then you get busy in your career building and of course you get busy celebrating and busy spending quality time with friends and people you love.
You always try to forget something. But what is that thing you want to forget? Is it a broken heart? Is it a lost dream? Is it a place? Is it a friend? You will never know.
You try to cry for your lost dreams, your broken heart, your nostalgia of friends and places, and may be over a hopeless case of a sick person or even a sick country.
There are a lot of tragedies in this life and you can never know what is significant and what is not in your cycle of misery. Yet there are things you cry over. Things that never get old. For some people it is a broken heart. Most of people kill themselves because of how their heart aches. Those lost people who killed themselves on a hope they would find mercy on the other side or in a hope that there is no other side at all! I though I was one of them! I thought I would cry over a broken heart. I thought that the pain could make me wither and die. But the fact that I am living right now to my full potential is enough evidence that I was foolishly wrong.
That makes you wonder what makes someone like me cry? And to be frank I wonder too!
And that is the mystery of life! You can't quite fathom how it works! Not life in general nor your life in particular! So you either talk and talk about your misery or stay silent; Because after all, there is nothing about talking that can lift you up from your cycle of misery.
But what is the cycle of Misery? What is the definition of misery to begin with?
"Misery" as defined in Merriam Webster dictionary is " something that causes extreme suffering or unhappiness". And the cycle of Misery is the endless events and queue of suffering that exists in everyone's life. That cycle is a chain that can never be broken but can be matched with happiness and comfort; but we are not here to talk about how to overcome or break the chain. We are here to wonder what is the most significant reason of your misery.
It is said "If you can't measure it, it doesn't exist" so can we really measure misery? Or is misery an illusion of oneself to self-destruction?
You can measure misery by the ache in your heart or measure it by how negatively it is affecting your work performance or you can measure it by tears.
Misery for me has its various reasons. You can never have enough misery in this wrecked wicked life. But what matters the most and the most significant cause of misery will always always make you cry. No matter how old you are and no matter how many years have passed on your unfortunate event. I bet you can cry over it anytime and any place by just remembering a glimpse of it.
There are tears more valuable than other tears. Crying more significant than others. And you can't measure tears. I claim that you can't measure tears worth because you still don't have the tools to do so. I claim that tears can be measured providing the suitable conditions and observers. And I claim that my tears for you brother as little and rare as they are are the highest of worth among other tears.
I have seen many tears from many people. I've witnessed the brutality, randomness, and suffering. I have seen life with angelic eyes and with demonic ones. I have loved and hated many times. I have seen the breakable things break and the lifeless people happiness and because feelings are subjected to its observer, I have always wondered if there is anything more powerful than the feeling of my guilt towards you. The feelings of my shame for underrating you.
I have stood upon your grave crying begging for forgiveness from you while you can't talk back. I have made many good deeds honoring your memory. I have tried to live my life in a way that you would forgive or - naively thinking - come back to me.
You have died so peacefully and with the least possible harm for me. I didn't failed my exams nor I have got my life ruined because of your loss. You were born in peace and calmness and passed away in the same manner and for that and unreasonably speaking I am sorry!
I am sorry I thanked God for that you are dead; for as a good Muslim, you thank God for better or worse. I am sorry I loved a few people more than I've loved you. I am sorry for every feelings I did not feel and everyone I favored over you. And I can no longer cry but mourning your loss my naughty noisy little brother.
Your always sorry big smart arrogant brother...
You always try to forget something. But what is that thing you want to forget? Is it a broken heart? Is it a lost dream? Is it a place? Is it a friend? You will never know.
You try to cry for your lost dreams, your broken heart, your nostalgia of friends and places, and may be over a hopeless case of a sick person or even a sick country.
There are a lot of tragedies in this life and you can never know what is significant and what is not in your cycle of misery. Yet there are things you cry over. Things that never get old. For some people it is a broken heart. Most of people kill themselves because of how their heart aches. Those lost people who killed themselves on a hope they would find mercy on the other side or in a hope that there is no other side at all! I though I was one of them! I thought I would cry over a broken heart. I thought that the pain could make me wither and die. But the fact that I am living right now to my full potential is enough evidence that I was foolishly wrong.
That makes you wonder what makes someone like me cry? And to be frank I wonder too!
And that is the mystery of life! You can't quite fathom how it works! Not life in general nor your life in particular! So you either talk and talk about your misery or stay silent; Because after all, there is nothing about talking that can lift you up from your cycle of misery.
But what is the cycle of Misery? What is the definition of misery to begin with?
"Misery" as defined in Merriam Webster dictionary is " something that causes extreme suffering or unhappiness". And the cycle of Misery is the endless events and queue of suffering that exists in everyone's life. That cycle is a chain that can never be broken but can be matched with happiness and comfort; but we are not here to talk about how to overcome or break the chain. We are here to wonder what is the most significant reason of your misery.
It is said "If you can't measure it, it doesn't exist" so can we really measure misery? Or is misery an illusion of oneself to self-destruction?
You can measure misery by the ache in your heart or measure it by how negatively it is affecting your work performance or you can measure it by tears.
Misery for me has its various reasons. You can never have enough misery in this wrecked wicked life. But what matters the most and the most significant cause of misery will always always make you cry. No matter how old you are and no matter how many years have passed on your unfortunate event. I bet you can cry over it anytime and any place by just remembering a glimpse of it.
There are tears more valuable than other tears. Crying more significant than others. And you can't measure tears. I claim that you can't measure tears worth because you still don't have the tools to do so. I claim that tears can be measured providing the suitable conditions and observers. And I claim that my tears for you brother as little and rare as they are are the highest of worth among other tears.
I have seen many tears from many people. I've witnessed the brutality, randomness, and suffering. I have seen life with angelic eyes and with demonic ones. I have loved and hated many times. I have seen the breakable things break and the lifeless people happiness and because feelings are subjected to its observer, I have always wondered if there is anything more powerful than the feeling of my guilt towards you. The feelings of my shame for underrating you.
I have stood upon your grave crying begging for forgiveness from you while you can't talk back. I have made many good deeds honoring your memory. I have tried to live my life in a way that you would forgive or - naively thinking - come back to me.
You have died so peacefully and with the least possible harm for me. I didn't failed my exams nor I have got my life ruined because of your loss. You were born in peace and calmness and passed away in the same manner and for that and unreasonably speaking I am sorry!
I am sorry I thanked God for that you are dead; for as a good Muslim, you thank God for better or worse. I am sorry I loved a few people more than I've loved you. I am sorry for every feelings I did not feel and everyone I favored over you. And I can no longer cry but mourning your loss my naughty noisy little brother.
Your always sorry big smart arrogant brother...
