There is a Japanese proverb that says "au nowa wakare no hajime" or we only meet to part. This says it all. You begin your life knowing two parents and a happy family. Everything is great and the world is a jewel that God has gifted you with. But your parents get old and boring and you lose them gradually until they die. While you are in the process of losing your parents, you meet friends, you meet loved ones, and you meet the ONE. You change and your friends change. The world changes so do the circumstances around all of us. This makes you part from friends you thought you'd never lose and gain friends you never thought of having. You love and you betray and get betrayed. You see fallen friends all over the place; Fallen in an addiction, fallen in love, or fallen in depression or death.
You lose a member or two of your dear family before you finally get lost as well. That's death. You lose a friend or two before you get lost as well. That's change. You lose your loved ones before you lose the ONE. That's destiny. That's the life of losses. And when you gain something you lose another thing. When you lose something you gain something in return. Life goes on but never the same. That's misery and fate.
So you are a young soul aspiring for everything good in the world. You have friends and family and childish love or crush. You think this is a self-righteous privilege and you think that will last forever. Then you begin to lose trust and confidence in your family and become more dependent on your friends. Your friends are silly and has nothing to do about their lives. They are like you; lost, pathetic and weak because all of you are still under the age of Ten after all. A ten years old boy who everyone thinks he is a kid; and kids in Egypt are basically thought of as brainless pieces of meat that have no emotions nor intelligence so you are treated like an invisible man.
Then you grow up and build up your dreams. You are a fine young man. A teenager who wants to rule the universe and plans seriously to do it. Your inexperience with the outer world leads you to a path of enthusiasm about fixing every flaw in life. Then you love and get heartbroken for several times. First because of knowing nothing about the other gender. Then because you are just bored or you feel nothing but guilt towards your girl. Then you meet the ONE. Now you finally know the meaning of a soul mate and the reason behind marriage. You know how the future is and you absolutely expect the best for your successful life. You are in heaven and you have earned it.
Now you are a fine man. A man that has all the power of the world and can do anything. You make promises and you try to keep up with your self-expectations. You burn out yourself for her. You trust yourself, your friends, your family (somehow), and you trust God above all. You are a pure angel of justice, faith, and goodness. Therefore, you never see it coming. You never see what the future holds for you and you never get ready for it. Death comes smiling at your family and friends. Meaningless politics ruins everybody's lives and yours as well. Then the economy collapses killing every project you have dreamt of achieving before even trying. But you are still standing and you know the future will be better. You have the ONE after all and that's enough to secure your future. So you work hard and get a decent job, Your dream job. You have never been that successful in your entire life. That's when your only remaining pillar that holds your castle will fall and leave you behind.
Now you are alone and now you realise that nothing matters and that you are a dreamer. Now you know your true worth. A corporate slave working in a full suit who lost faith in everything he trusted before. You are the devil's minion and no angel anymore.
You have been told that the amazing ability of the human race to adapt is extraordinary and that what made humans the rulers of Earth. You never believed it and you knew you are not well adapted to your surroundings. But you get over it quickly. You are now a fine man with a fine job. And you believe in second chances so you give yourself another chance. You go and propose to some nice girl who is another ONE but you are either too weird or too damaged goods to her. You will never be accepted the way you are. And as a third chance is highly unlikely, you lose hope.
So you do like any decent man would do. You stop being open, pretend and go lie to a naive girl. She is fascinated by how mysterious, brave, smart, and funny you are. She has never seen you as she should but that's no problem because all men do that. They betray or pretend to be someone else for the sake of having a family. You marry her and you have little naive idealistic happy kids with naive simple minded wife that thinks you love her and that she is the ONE.
Your kids grow up. Now you can go to the top of the page and read from the beginning, this time in the voice of your future kids.
OR you can simply break the cycle. It's up to you. As no matter how you feel about yourself, you still have a choice in the little things you get in your life. You are not damaged goods and you are not worthless scum and you are not a fallen temple or a liar or a betrayer (at least by nature). You are beautiful and you will always be beautiful. You are your home and you are the warmth of your heart and you are the smile of your face. And about the first line of the first paragraph says: "Au nowa wakare no hajime" accept that fact and treasure the moments you have with everyone instead of living an endless misery while they are with you. Stay Strong or Stay Egyptian. For myself, I have decided to be a rebel until my last breath.
You lose a member or two of your dear family before you finally get lost as well. That's death. You lose a friend or two before you get lost as well. That's change. You lose your loved ones before you lose the ONE. That's destiny. That's the life of losses. And when you gain something you lose another thing. When you lose something you gain something in return. Life goes on but never the same. That's misery and fate.
So you are a young soul aspiring for everything good in the world. You have friends and family and childish love or crush. You think this is a self-righteous privilege and you think that will last forever. Then you begin to lose trust and confidence in your family and become more dependent on your friends. Your friends are silly and has nothing to do about their lives. They are like you; lost, pathetic and weak because all of you are still under the age of Ten after all. A ten years old boy who everyone thinks he is a kid; and kids in Egypt are basically thought of as brainless pieces of meat that have no emotions nor intelligence so you are treated like an invisible man.
Then you grow up and build up your dreams. You are a fine young man. A teenager who wants to rule the universe and plans seriously to do it. Your inexperience with the outer world leads you to a path of enthusiasm about fixing every flaw in life. Then you love and get heartbroken for several times. First because of knowing nothing about the other gender. Then because you are just bored or you feel nothing but guilt towards your girl. Then you meet the ONE. Now you finally know the meaning of a soul mate and the reason behind marriage. You know how the future is and you absolutely expect the best for your successful life. You are in heaven and you have earned it.
Now you are a fine man. A man that has all the power of the world and can do anything. You make promises and you try to keep up with your self-expectations. You burn out yourself for her. You trust yourself, your friends, your family (somehow), and you trust God above all. You are a pure angel of justice, faith, and goodness. Therefore, you never see it coming. You never see what the future holds for you and you never get ready for it. Death comes smiling at your family and friends. Meaningless politics ruins everybody's lives and yours as well. Then the economy collapses killing every project you have dreamt of achieving before even trying. But you are still standing and you know the future will be better. You have the ONE after all and that's enough to secure your future. So you work hard and get a decent job, Your dream job. You have never been that successful in your entire life. That's when your only remaining pillar that holds your castle will fall and leave you behind.
Now you are alone and now you realise that nothing matters and that you are a dreamer. Now you know your true worth. A corporate slave working in a full suit who lost faith in everything he trusted before. You are the devil's minion and no angel anymore.
You have been told that the amazing ability of the human race to adapt is extraordinary and that what made humans the rulers of Earth. You never believed it and you knew you are not well adapted to your surroundings. But you get over it quickly. You are now a fine man with a fine job. And you believe in second chances so you give yourself another chance. You go and propose to some nice girl who is another ONE but you are either too weird or too damaged goods to her. You will never be accepted the way you are. And as a third chance is highly unlikely, you lose hope.
So you do like any decent man would do. You stop being open, pretend and go lie to a naive girl. She is fascinated by how mysterious, brave, smart, and funny you are. She has never seen you as she should but that's no problem because all men do that. They betray or pretend to be someone else for the sake of having a family. You marry her and you have little naive idealistic happy kids with naive simple minded wife that thinks you love her and that she is the ONE.
Your kids grow up. Now you can go to the top of the page and read from the beginning, this time in the voice of your future kids.
OR you can simply break the cycle. It's up to you. As no matter how you feel about yourself, you still have a choice in the little things you get in your life. You are not damaged goods and you are not worthless scum and you are not a fallen temple or a liar or a betrayer (at least by nature). You are beautiful and you will always be beautiful. You are your home and you are the warmth of your heart and you are the smile of your face. And about the first line of the first paragraph says: "Au nowa wakare no hajime" accept that fact and treasure the moments you have with everyone instead of living an endless misery while they are with you. Stay Strong or Stay Egyptian. For myself, I have decided to be a rebel until my last breath.
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